There isn’t much that Chidera Eggerue can’t do once she puts her mind to it. From presenting the MOBOs to running her award-winning blog, her latest venture has seen her turn her hand to authoring. Her debut book, What a Time to be Alone (#wattba), offers a refreshing approach to our digital dependence with a thoughtprovoking mix of short essays on everything from bad friends and being loved to Igbo proverbs learnt from her Nigerian mum. Peppered with her own original artwork, it makes the perfect handbook for modern life. We caught up with the award-winning blogger to talk female sass, social media and self-love…
Congratulations on the release of your new book. What prompted you to write #wattba?
Thank you so much! For me I felt like we’re now living in a society where we have so much access to each other it creates this pressure to not be alone. Because everyone is so reachable we don’t even acknowledge that we have to spend time with ourselves. The aim of the book is to encourage people to understand there is so much value in hanging by yourself and that it doesn’t mean you’re unwanted or rejected. Being alone is a choice you can make by yourself.
The book addresses topics like loneliness, self-worth and mental health. Do you think social media has contributed to the rise of these issues, especially for young women?
Absolutely. When we look at the nature of social media interaction and how it works, it’s all about numbers – whether it’s how many likes your picture gets or how many people follow you. The problem with this is that if you keep counting it becomes never ending. We therefore end up with a never-ending pile of aspirations, and we’re taught that our success comes from how well we’re liked on social media. We need to scale back and rebuild our relationships with ourselves, so that regardless of how many people are looking or liking our social media posts, we still have a healthy relationship with ourselves.
‘There is so much value in hanging by yourself… it doesn’t mean you’re unwanted or rejected’
As an influencer, do you feel a pressure to keep up with social media?
I do feel a lot of pressure to keep up with the pace and the growing momentum of likes, posts and re-tweets, but I try not to get lost in the likes. It’s easy to form attachments to people’s compliments, but the problem with listening to people’s nice words is that human beings change their minds. So if you become tied to people’s opinions, you can start to listen to the negative as well as the positive – and that’s when you can start to forget what you think about yourself. As much as it’s great that people respond and interact with my work, I try to make sure that the opinion I have of myself outweighs anybody else’s.
When you started the #SAGGYBOOBSMATTER movement, did you think it would gain so much recognition?
I honestly didn’t! I decided I wanted to talk about saggy boobs because at the time nobody else was. I was spurred on by the fact that I’d reached a place of body confidence where I was able to try and help other people get there too. The movement was less about real vs fake boobs, or bra vs no bra, it’s more about women deserving to have full autonomy over their bodies. I want women to know it’s ok to exist without the fear of being judged, and that they don’t have to live up to fake and constantly shifting beauty ideals.
Who’s an influencer for you?
I really love Munroe Bergdorf (pictured above), she’s an activist that prioritises trans rights. I’m inspired by her tenacity and courage. She doesn’t exist by anybody else’s standards. She breaks boundaries and stands up for what matters.
If social media disappeared tomorrow, what would you do?
I’d be an author! I would like to do a lot more talks and engage in more activities with young black women. They are my priority when I’m speaking as they face the most aggressive judgment in society, from their bodies being hypersexualised to being invisible in advertising. I feel there is so much that can be done offline in order to help and get my message out there!
On a day-off what do like to do to
re-charge your batteries?
I like venting to my best friend! I love to hear his take on things and although
I think it’s important to have someone fighting your corner, at the same time they don’t have to have the same perspective. That way it can allow you to view things in a different light. If we only surround ourselves with people that always have the same opinion it can be damaging as you won’t be able to have a broad understanding of how people view your message.
What hair products do you like to use on your natural hair?
I’m really into natural products so I use shea butter and vitamin E oil as it helps my baby hair grow. I find if I use products that aren’t natural I get a lot of buildup in my hair.
What’s the best beauty advice you’ve been given?
To wear the thinnest layer of foundation possible or else you get really bad flashback in all your photographs.
When you ‘glow up’ what are your go-to make-up products?
I’m obsessed with FENTY! The products are amazing – I use everything from the foundation to the highlighter and contour sticks.
What makes you truly happy?
Feeling understood! We’re complex human beings so feeling understood can sometimes feel better than feeling loved. Feeling understood makes you feel less crazy and allows your mind to settle, so for me that’s peace.
We love that you use Igbo sayings passed on from your mum to make valid points about life in the book. Do you have a favourite one?
My favourite is the one about the rat following the lizard in the rain – it’s hilarious when you think about it. If you look at a lizard, it has scales so it can shake off the water but a rat has fur so it will be drenched for a while. The whole message is that you should be mindful about the influences you welcome into your life, because everyone’s response is different. So it teaches you to be careful of who’s advice you take, or who’s life you try to emulate, because that person might have scales and you may have fur!
“We’re complex human beings so feeling understood can sometimes feel better than feeling loved.”
What’s next for The Slumflower?
I hope the book will evolve and reach so many more people. I hope it could take a new form in terms of being structured to work for a TV show.
@theslumflower
